Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Hittin' Licks

Hittin’ Licks: (verb phrase; ebonic contraction of the verb ‘hitting’ in this form meaning 'acquiring' and the ebonic noun ‘licks’ meaning significant amounts of money/capital)

‘Hittin Licks’ on the Southside can mean a variety of means to an end. More often than not, it usually means ‘jacking’ somebody, catching somebody ‘slipping’ or pulling a ‘stunt’. Because as most of us in the working world know..the legal methods of making the ‘quick & easy’ dollar are few and far in between. Christians have even fewer opportunities (or so it seems) of ‘hittin licks’ because they don’t steal or lie or kill. Practically EVERYONE has this inner urge to ‘hit a lick’..color or race hasn’t a thing to do with it. What separates the animals from the civilized , is the code of ethics they adhere to on this paper-chasing adventure.

JACKERS: If you’re at a gas station alone late at night..and you happen to notice some thugged out looking youngsters glaring in your direction while they talk amongst themselves..never taking their eyes off you..and their body language and facial expressions show nothing but hardness and aggression..and you happen to overhear the phrase..’we bout to hit this lick on this fool!’, you will probably be best served to get in your car as quickly as you can and drive off. Making sure to check your rear view mirror to make sure you’re not being followed home. Because of all the personal prosperity that has been gained through the aforementioned phrase, more often than naught, it was at the expense of an unsuspecting target..or ‘mark’ as they say in South Central L.A. Some people visualize the worst kind of jackers with dark faces and dark hair, that are pushing old ladies down in dark parking lots. I think they’re just as bad as the ones who pull those ‘investment of a lifetime’ scandals and swindle those same old ladies out of their life savings. Either way, they’re both jackers, one’s just doing it with a gun and the other with a pen.

‘SLIPPING’: If you’re at a club one night..and you run across an older, accomplished, sloppy drunk gentleman, who just needs somebody to talk to. And during the course of the conversation he INSISTS on buying you a drink, and he proceeds to pull out this HUGE wad of 100 dollar bills, and he’s so drunk, that when he thinks he’s putting his money back in his pocket, it all falls neatly on the floor under his seat..out of everyone’s eyesight but yours..you’ll know just how bad you want to ‘hit a quick lick’. Especially if you KNOW it’s a guy who a) obviously has more money than he can spend, b)won’t ever remember if he lost the money or spent it, c)will probably end up getting shook down by someone ELSE if you don‘t take it anyway. Of course, no matter how you look at it..its stealing (or prostitution, depending on what you end up DOING with the elderly gentleman later). But everyone doesn’t have that reality..some people just think of it as a ‘blessing’. That's a face-face example of catching somebody slipping, but there are numerous less intimate examples i.e. identity thieves and slick accountants skimming off the top of the books. Once again we can ask the question, 'Which is most damaging to society'?

PULLING A STUNT’: One of my favorite physical comedians is Lucille Ball . Some of the stunts she’s pulled on camera can just make you laugh out loud even if the sound is on mute. There’s a lot of people today pulling stunts for a living, but not for the TV cameras. They’re going down to the mall and they’re shopping…not for clothes, but rather for wet spots on the floor. If they find a good one, with obvious hazards and no warning signs? They’ll d’mn near dive down on the floor and yell out like Fred Sanford, “Oh my back!!” Cuz they’re trying to ‘hit that lick’ on the insurance claim. Go to the doctor, spend a couple of weeks in physical therapy and wait for their lawyer to cut them their portion of the settlement check.

C’mon now…don’t have your mouth wide open acting like you didn’t know this type of stuff was going on by the SECOND??! Why do you think your insurance is so high? Why do you think healthcare costs are soaring out of control?? A lot of people are just out for self, and they’re paying no heed to what’s best for the group. Some people are naïve enough to believe the ‘trickle down’ theory and other elitists paradigms that advocate helping the rich first, which in turn will ‘trickle down’ to the poor masses. What history teaches us, is that as long as we have an entire class of folks whose economic opportunities are slim and none? We will always have a group of folks who are ready to ‘hit licks’ with no holds barred. And that’s not even including the already rich folks ‘hitting licks’, because their licks hit the hardest. If you want to find out about one of the biggest ‘licks’ of all times, research how the Pilgrims 'acquired' this land that we now call the United States from the Native Americans. Na...run and tell THAT!





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