Thursday, July 24, 2003

Finger Waves

One of the priceless advantages of knowing and loving your close blood relatives, is the convenience of having their archive of medical history available for reference. Scientist and biologist have proven that a person's genetic breakdown plays a substantial role (along with environment, exercise, diet and lifestyle) in their quality of living. Some people are blessed with the natural genes that allow them to eat whatever they want, whenever they want and not gain a pound. Other's are doomed with that 'big boned' gene, where even just one bite of cheesecake goes directly to their butt.

Having this archive available for reference is a great map to look back upon, but in the end, we all have to be accountable for ourselves. A lot of my friends and relatives will only go to see the doctor if there's an emergency involved.

"I ain't going to see no doctor! All they're going to do is find SOMEthing wrong with you, so that they can get you strung out on whatever the latest dope they're pushing."

"I feel GREAT!! What do I want to go see a doctor for?? If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

I must admit, for the majority of my adult life, I was a member of this latter, 'Emergency Room Only' mentality. I wasn't overweight, I didn't smoke cigarettes and I wasn't in any pain or discomfort...I never even THOUGHT about going to the doctor. It wasn't until I had decided to buy some more life insurance, that required a complete medical exam, that I even knew I HAD a Primary Care Physician! As I normally do, I called my dad and found out who HIS doctor was and setup an appointment.

Right after my exam, I went over to my parents house and I guess the glazed and distant look in my eyes alerted my dad to a problem...

You alright?
Uhh...yeah. (Actually, I was a bit preturbed...I just didn't know HOW to explain my 'issues')
Did you go in for your exam?
Yeah.
What did the doctor say??
My blood pressure is fine...my lungs and heart sound good...uhh..he did say I had a couple of hemorroids that I need to keep an eye on.
Hemorroids?? (My dad was a bit confused...then he started smiling) Had to get the ol 'finger wave' huh?

In that instant my mind and my eyes raced to make direct eye contact with him, because obviously he KNEW about the experience I had just had..

Yes! (I admitted with full honesty and a slight cringe by just recalling the experience) They've done that to YOU too???
I get mine checked every year.
Why?? (I was amazed at how nonchalant and emotionally detached he was from this procedure)
Because Black men are in a high risk group for prostate cancer. You're pretty young right now, so you don't have to do it every year..but once you turn 40..you need to get it checked annually.

My prior experiences with doctors have mostly been shots, x-rays and sports physicals. Standing in line outside the coaches office, with my parental waiver form and $35 waiting to get checked out. At the time, I thought the ol dice roll 'Turn your head and cough' and getting down in the 3 pt stance naked were the most humiliating things they could do to a man. But now I KNEW my true nemesis..and his name was DRE (Digital Rectal Exam).

The normal prostate gland is quite small, it weighs only about an ounce, and is nearly the size and shape as a walnut. It is located in front of the rectum and just below the bladder. The prostate wraps arond a tube called the urethra, which carries urine from the bladder out through the tip of the penis. The prostate's main purpose is to produce fluid for semen, which transports sperm. Just before the male orgasm, muscular contractions squeeze the prostate's fluid into the urethra. As men get older, their prostate normally increases in size.

The easiest, most inexpensive way to check the prostate for enlargement or growth is via the Digital Rectal Exam. As the name suggests, this involves a latex glove, a finger, some lubricant and the testee assuming a prone position. The probe itself only took a few seconds...but to me it seemed like an eternity. After the doctor had slapped off the glove and told me I could put my pants back on, I found my knees trembling and a cold sweat had accumulated on my brow. I felt...violated. Like a dream sequence I can remember him handing me some tissue to 'wipe myself up' all the while he's rambling on about how I shouldn't sit on the toilet too long when I go to the 'office'.

It's bad for your bowels for you to sit and read in the bathroom...do your business and get up.

On my drive over to my parents house, I was having all kind of crazy thoughts about the obvious masochistic inclinations associated with homosexual men. I couldn't understand how someone could LIKE that. When I revealed my 'issues' with my parents, my mother wasn't consoling at all, , she was d'm near laughing...

You alright son?? (smiling) You all acting like you're about to DIE!! You're lucky you don't have to birth any children or get your cervix scraped!!

Her words of consolement did little to boost my spirits. Since then I've found out there ARE different ways to check the prostate for abnormalties..like the PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen) blood test. I've also found out that one of the reasons that the fatality rate of prostate cancer is so high with black men is that we rarely go to the doctor unless something is wrong. The advances they've made with prostate cancer has allowed many diagnosed men to go on and live healthy lives IF detected early.

I have an anal-intrusion phobia like a lot of 'regular' guys. For years I'd proudly announced my 'Exit Only' anal card for all the world to see. Now that I know how much of a vital role the prostate plays in my sexual enjoyment, I had to make the decision of health over fear/hangup and do what's best for my long term health. For those that have yet to venture into this realm of 'intimacy', my best advice is to do what my father told me to do....relax. :)

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